"As an infant, she [my daughter] was a tiny, colicky and a beautiful mess, but she was my beautiful mess. After months of feeding her, changing her diapers and occasionally getting a shower, I realized something was missing.
Balance.
I had no clue how to find the magical formula but thought exercise might help. So I began my quest for balance and found yoga instead.
I’ve heard people describe yoga as boring, while others complain it’s too tough. For me, it felt a little like home. During my first class, I easily flowed through the poses until the teacher prepared us for Bakasana, a pose involving strength, core stability, and balance. Hmmm… it sounds suspiciously like being a mom, doesn’t it? That’s what I thought too.
Like any decent perfectionist, I was determined to get Bakasana right the first time. I bent my legs, laid my palms on the floor, and placed my legs on the back of my arms. Ta-da…
Exactly one second later, my face was planted firmly on my rockin’ new yoga mat. “Hello mat, meet my sweaty face.”
I repeated the process but my second attempt resulted in the face-mat phenomenon again. Exhausted, I stopped, took a breath and became completely still for the first time since my colicky baby had screamed her way into my life. I hushed my chatty inner thoughts and they all disappeared except one clear voice. It was me. “Hello stranger, long time no see.”
I turned my attention to the yoga teacher who was busy repeating warm and fuzzy mantras about listening to my body and staying in the moment. I alternated between silent giggles and thinking she was a genius. I decided to try again. My legs groaned shamelessly as I placed them on my arms again but this time I stopped to listen. I leaned into the pose slightly and shifted; I was balanced. I had found the sweet spot! I was a new mommy learning to fly. Suddenly, Bakasana sounded less like a weird virus going around daycare and more like a mantra for my life.
Following my yoga experiment, I decided to search for my own sweet spot in life. Sounds easy, right? Not really, especially for someone still trying to balance changing poopy diapers and showering every day.
I started small. I remembered Bakasana. I got still and listened. I studied those small moments when I could feel joy bubbling hot below the surface. I discovered I loved doing cartwheels when no one was looking, indulged in my ridiculous coffee addiction, and jogged through my neighborhood with my iPod blaring loud enough to cause permanent hearing damage.
To my surprise, little pieces of joy showed up like a path to happiness. So, I leaned in more, shifted my thinking and followed the path. There was Balance waiting around the corner, hand in pocket. “Dude, where have you been?”"
- Amy F.
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